no surprise here

Life is full of surprises.  Sometimes they are good.  Sometimes they are bad.  I have a love-hate relationship with surprises.  I love surprises when I know a little bit about them.  Just a hint.  Then, I can be surprised for the rest.  See, I really don’t like to be completely surprised.  I need to know a little something so I can prepare myself for whatever the surprise may bring.  Surprise getaway?  Great – I need to know a general location so I can prepare my wardrobe!  Surprise test?  Fine – just tell me what subject and what week.  Surprise car breakdown on the way to work? Ugh, but just tell me who to have on speed dial that morning.  See what I mean?  I’m terrible at this.

Ever wonder what you would do if you had a crystal ball?  I’d like to say I wouldn’t look; that I would throw it out the window and completely put my trust in God.  But that’s a lie.  The truth is, if I had a crystal ball I would totally cheat.  I would watch my life in fast forward – just once – and then throw the crystal ball away.  That’s my control-freak nature kicking in again.  It’s like I say, “Hey God, I trust you and stuff, but let me check behind you for errors….Yep, looks good thanks.”  I can’t help it.  And then when life throws me surprises that don’t exactly fit into how I would have planned things – I freak.

Well, during one of my daily email sessions with three of my best friends I was telling them about life’s little surprises – one of which I was not so excited about.  All three were so supportive and encouraging and brought me down from my freak-out high.  Mallory made a passing comment in her words of encouragement when she said “It’s no surprise to God.”  Whew.  The light bulb went off.  That’s what I needed to hear.  Nothing is a surprise to God.  And that is reassuring.  God is not surprised by the good things or the bad things.  He does not blink an eye when we hear bad news or encounter a small hiccup in life.  He does not waver.  He is in control.  As hard as I try to cling to my inner control freak, the more he smiles and asks me to hand over the driver seat (as if I ever really had control anyway).  And honestly, I am glad to.  I am grateful that I do not have to be in control – that I do not have to have all of the answers or solutions to every problem.  Grateful that God has taken care of me up until today and he will not stop now.  Grateful that it is all part of a bigger plan – a bigger picture – one that I cannot even begin to fathom.

So today on this Wednesday hump day, I’m letting go – a continual struggle for me day-to-day.  I will take the surprises in stride – good or bad – and I will hand it all to Jesus.  After all, he never lost control anyway.