if i'm being honest, the past three months are a blur. a happy blur. and a messy one. being a mama of two is no joke. i had some friends who told me it wasn't a big transition at all for them and that they eased into it, where others told me it rocked their world. i think we fall somewhere in the middle but definitely leaning towards the latter. it has been a big adjustment. for everyone. but that baby boy of mine? he is the perfect addition to our family. it's so amazing to me how God chooses each person in a family and it is so evident that matthew was our missing part. he has the most laid back demeanor, completely unlike his sister as a baby. he's the smiley-est baby of all times. even mid-meltdown city, just flash him a smile and whisper his name and he's all ear-to-ear gummy grinning. it's a contagious gummy grin i tell you. and that big sister of his? she melts my heart in all sorts of ways. she's slowly taking to her brother and has just started taking it upon herself to show him all of her toys (this is HUGE people). i want to break down in a puddle of mush when i think about how much she has grown up over the past three months too. she has matured and learned and loved and screamed and cried it all out. it has been so beautiful. in the really hard moments i remind myself that georgia will never know a life without matthew. she will never remember being the only baby. and truthfully, i'm thankful for that. every single night i pray for their relationship. that they will love each other fiercely and speak truth and life to one another. i pray they will have each other's back, especially in high school and middle school (hello awkward years!). i pray when one is too weak to fight for something worth fighting for then the other will offer the nudge that is needed.
and then there's the mess that is me. i'm definitely more laid back this time around. like for real. sometimes i wish i would have had this perspective more when georgia was so tiny but i also know that it is all part of the learning process. the mama process. i'm savoring a little more this time. even those 2 am and 4 am cuddle fests when really, i want to be asleep! but i'm still a worry monster at times (all the time) too. so don't worry. pyscho mama is still here. although my relationship with google is much healthier this go round. thank goodness!
and gosh my people. my village. my husband who works so hard for our family both at work and at home. the selfless way he serves us and the way he loves my babies and me. i just can't even. and my mama. oh my mama. she deserves a break. i mean she's already raised me and my sister. but yet she shows up still and helps me do the messy, hard stuff with my babies. these past 3 months would have been a bit horrendous without her. and the host of of people. the rest of my family, taking georgia for amazing playdates, my best friends, showing up with food (and wine!) and playing with my babies, my neighbors - gosh i am so humbled. my mama best friends who indulge my 3 am text-a-thins because they are there too. there have been so. many. times. that i have just started sobbing in the middle of the day both out of gratitude as well as heartbreak when i think of others who don't have the support system i do. so consider this a PSA - help the mamas out. whether a working mama, a stay at home mama, a single mama, and foster mama, a rich mama, a poor mama, a mama with lots of help or a mama with no help at all. love them. love them all. encourage them and support them in any way you can. they are doing hard work of raising the next generation. that goes for the daddies too. support and build each other up. we need each other.
this was a bunch of mumbo jumbo for my first blog post in a million weeks. but hey. that's life. and this is my life. and i'm so happy these days. so grateful too. thank you god for these perfect little blessings. and the messiness of this season of my life. and tomorrow is my hubby's birthday which means... CAKE!
